Oh look! It’s a thing!

So, guys, I bet you’re wondering:

Where’s Erica been these last few… weeks? Months? Whatever.

Well, y’all, it’s been a bit crazy.

I went to war to reclaim my family’s honor, fought some Huns, met a guy that was way too intense— oh, wait.

Never mind guys. I just remembered. I’m not Mulan.

Well, I guess, instead of fighting off the Huns, I fought off midterms. Same-same, really.

The main exam cycle is beginning to fade with the onset of Thanksgiving Break. Thus, 95% of campus is depressed, tired, and questioning their life choices. Meanwhile only 80% of campus is learning what an “overdraft fee” is.

It’s a party.

In light of this phase of college life, the popular choice of conversation topic is “Uhhhh! Professors! Money! Life!” As a senior, I’ve had this conversation countless times… It always makes me laugh when I hear stories of famous intellectuals that would have legit-intellectual conversation in college. What is this nonsense?!??

In other news, I’m currently procrastinating the writing of a short essay. It’s funny how professors say “short-essay” but they mean “an essay”. I think it’s a trick they teach you in graduate school. Perhaps there will be a whole class on it in law school.

Besides the “short essay”, you know what else is a lie??

THE CAKE

This is clearly the best way to end a blog post that has no cohesive structure or point… with a reference to a video game that is somewhat obscure. Really, though, cake is the best way to end anything.

Space Florida: It’s like Florida– In Space!

Hey guys!

I sat  in a Starbucks typing up an essay– which really means watching YouTube videos–when I over hear a couple of hipster-philosophers in their natural environment. This is a rare phenomena that I usually try to avoid… because it gets weird. However, on this occasion, I was too lazy to move my computer elsewhere.

The hipster-philosopher is a particular breed of  human arising from the interbreeding of the Human-Hipster and the Human-Philosopher, as the name would suggest.

The Hipster to Philosopher ratios vary from offspring to offspring, but their outer appearance is generally the same. The clothes are generally old-looking, if not actually old, and the males of this sub-species generally emit the strong aroma of too much cologne OR not enough bathing. This allows them to attract females of a similar sub-species, while turning away females that may not be interested in furthering the Hipster-Philosopher gene line.

There were two of these Hipster-Philosopher types sitting behind me, and me and everyone else in the room could hear their conversation. I’m pretty sure these guys managed to use the words “transcendent”, “existential”, and “gender roles” all in the same sentence. They probably deserve an award for that.

That was my attempt at Human taxonomy… perhaps, this is another reason why I’m going to law school and not medical school.

Speaking of, I’ve decided that I’m not going to be a normal lawyer. I’m gonna be a space lawyer.

Pretty much everything is better when you can put it in space. Everything.

If you wake up one morning and tell your kids that you’re taking a surprise vacation to Florida, you’ll get this reaction:

Because, what’s in Florida, really? Heat. Sweaty college students in costumes. More heat. Some sand. Palm Trees. A large mass of salty water. McDonalds.

BUT, if you tell them that, instead, you’re going to Space Florida, you’ll see this:

Space Florida: The Fun Times Are Never Ending
😀

This is probably why Buzz Lightyear is so much cooler than Woody. Because he’s from space.

Rainbow Space Unicorns

Hey guys!

The class-free-summer months are almost over—classes start next week—and, at the moment, I am faced with monumental chore of packing.

Ugh. Packing.

As a freshman, I used to try to stick everything in some sort of luggage or cardboard box.  Now I just throw everything in a trash bag. Except the pointy things.

Over the last few weeks, a couple of lovely people have given me some of those awards that you pass around to other bloggers. It’s pretty cool of them. I, however, I am not very good at following directions. I normally just thank the person on my “About Blog” page, today, I has idea.

Instead of packing and cleaning and being “responsible”, I figured I’d take a moment to fulfill one of the requests of these awards—list seven facts about myself.

Fact #1

When I was little I used to run on my tippy-toes because it made me feel like a velociraptor.

Fact #2

Also when I was little, I won a Halloween coloring contest at a local Publix. I thought I was going to get a plaque with my name on it, ride in a sports car during a parade, and have the city re-named after me…but I only got a movie—The Black Cauldron. It’s not a particularly great movie, but it was the movie that led me to say ‘munchies and crunchies’ in a high nasally voice whenever I was hungry.

Fact #3

I used to play Neopets with every spare moment of time that I had. I’ve clocked a ridiculous amount of hours on that website, but that website is why I learned how to draw things on Paint.

Fact #4

I’ve recently discovered that I can draw almost anything on MS Paint, as long as that thing can be reduced to some sort of potato shape.

Fact #5

Well… hm. I think I’ve run out of things.

I’ve lived for 21 years. You’d think I’d have plenty to say…

Oh, wait. Here’s a thing:

This is the rare and beautiful mana-potat-ee… yes.
Manatees are highly majestic creatures, which makes them my favorite animal.

Fact #6

Tricksie Hobbitses…

I love potatoes.

Fact #7

That’s the best way to end a blog post, right? With a rainbow space unicorn.

I Have a Type Of Illness Known as “College”: A Procrastination Induced Post

NOTE: When re-reading this post, I noticed that there is a lot of economics-jargon-stuff in here. If you aren’t an econ major and don’t know what any particular work means, replace that word with “Panda“. It’ll make just as much sense and be 10x as funny.

Within the next week I have my senior thesis for my economics major due. Since there’s only a week left to finish it, I’m at a point where I can no longer pretend that watching videos of econ-raps and reading through “Economists Do It With Models” count as writing the essay.

I’ve been studying this stuff for so long—and, for the last month, so intensely—that I started applying basic economics to random situations… or maybe I’m just going insane.

For example, when walking to Starbucks, I saw a shop that has a broken window… I thought of
this video I saw in one of my classes.

I’m also taking a class in Old English Literature, and came up with a payoff matrix to describe a pre-battle dialogue…

Yeah, this isn't exactly how it went down, but it was a good excuse to draw a viking 😀
Oh, and in the payoff-chart-matrix-thing, most of the numbers are random, though I always assumed that if a battle occured, the vicking would win. The have some epic beards. Their victory is inevitable.

I overheard a girl on the bus telling her friend, “Well, Walmart’s a monopoly, and it forces all the small businesses in the area to close”… and it took a lot of effort not to cry. I figure that the frustration I felt due to her conversation was a negative externality and, to make her internalize this externality, I should make her give me a dollar.

I think I am going insane, though. I’ll probably ask a psychology-major-friend about it. It seems like loosely applying economics to everything I see should be a symptom of something. Maybe it’s rabies. Or mad cow disease… but I’ll leave all the diagnosing to my not-yet-a-doctor-friends.

I also noticed that the quality of my diet seems inversely related to the quantity of school work that I need to do. Since I’m avoiding my essay, I’ve made a chart:

Once the semester starts, the quantity of work I have to do is directly related to the number of pancakes I consume and inversely related to the quality of food I eat (because of all the pancakes).

The whiny voice of the economist that lives in my head reminds me that ‘correlation does not imply causation’— but, in this case, one defiantly causes the other.

Now that I’m thinking about it, I think I know what’s wrong.

I’m suffering from a psychological illness known as “college”. It’s a simple illness that drags you from points of calmness to points of extreme stress spontaneously across a two to four year period.  They say this illness makes you smart, but, really, it just makes you the same type of crazy as everybody else in your chosen industry.