Occupation: Awesome

So, I recently decided that when I graduate from college I am going to pursue a career of being awesome.

You see, when I tell people that I’m graduating next winter and that I’m majoring in English and Economics, they’re all like:

“Oh, so you plan to be a teacher.”

Then, I have to be all like,

“Uh… no. Large groups of children sounds like torture.”

Typically, they’ll then tend to tilt their head and squint at me as they ask,

“Are you going to law school?”

I’m a moderately indecisive person, so the answer to that question changes every once and a while.

Nonetheless, this interrogation happens with every adult that I come across– sometimes twice with the same adult. From what I can gather, they’re trying to gauge how successful I’ll be as an adult. So I’ve some up with the answer that they’re really looking for:

“When I graduate I’m gonna be awesome.”

I’ve known for a while now that I’d be awesome once I graduated– but it always seemed weird to tell people. They’d ask skeptical questions like:

“Oh, so how much does that pay?” or “Haha, but really. What do you plan to do?”

I’ve come up to answers for both of those though:

1. It pays a hell of a lot more than you’re making.

2. Be awesome, clearly. It’s part of job description.