Tag Archives: fail

Why I’d Never go to Culinary School– and a brief update.

11 Mar

Generally, I like cooking because I like eating. Though, usually, I get into the kitchen and I get a little ahead of myself. Once I get into the kitchen, I begin to think, “I’ve watched Paula Deen and Gordon Ramsey for years—I’m like some sort of masta’ chef!”

Between this crazy British guy and this southern food expert, I probably know all the things about food.

Full of unearned confidence and with access to your basic cooking ingredients, I google something that looks awesome—like this:

I got this recipie from the "sophistimom" blog, and it looks divine. Here's the link: http://www.sophistimom.com/one-pan-skillet-cookie/

Doesn’t that look amazing?! It sure does! Is it actually amazing? I have no idea.

Half way through, I realized that I didn’t have most the stuff I need to make this—but I’m the next Paula Dean. Surely, I can get around that, right? No butter? No chocolate chips?? No problem! I’m a super-chef, so I can substitute! Canola oil! Cocoa Powder! Problem solved. Don’t have an oven friendly skillet?? Cake pan! Same-same, right?

 

Well, this is what it looked like:

It looks like one of those mud-pies I made when I was little-- except, the mud pies didn't look like they could come to life and kill me.

It’s vaguely reminiscent of a brown sea-sponge. I was thinking of hiding it in the fridge, naming it Quasimodo, and never speaking of it again.

My friend and I, though, were daring and willing to do what it takes to beat this cookie into submission, so we went ahead and shoved that thing in the oven.

I’m glad to say, it didn’t explode, mutate, or come to life. It just tasted like a vaguely chocolate, oily cookie-in-a-cake-pan.

I suspect, though, that it’s really just an alien life form, waiting for me to eat it, so it can get into my body and take over my mind from there. Oh, maybe if I get possessed by an alien they’d put me in the new Men in Black movie… I need to google this.

— Other than this cooking disaster,I’m currently out for spring break. I’ve decided to update my blog every Friday or Saturday– though I’m going to try and post more than once a week if I can.  😀 Hopefully, I can spend some time this week preparing some good posts, though I may just spend that time watching the Food Network.

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